I was sitting in the prayer room after a day of battling my emotions -- feeling lonely, insignificant, and unimportant. As I began to reflect on the phone calls that I expected and didn’t get, or the one I should have gotten and didn’t, I asked the Lord to show me something, anything that would open my eyes to the value of my existence. Oh how faithful He is!“We don’t have to make a name for ourselves and we don’t have to get His (God’s) attention. We already have His attention, we’re already His beloved ones.” - Corey Russell
I read and reread Corey’s statement so many times, and then began to search the Scriptures to remind myself of how He feels towards me. The first thought I had was of Jesus - His beloved Son in whom He was well pleased (Matt 3:17). I am reminded when I think of this verse that the Lord God spoke this of Jesus before He did anything. Jesus had simply said yes in His heart and he made the confession by baptism. No ministry, no 40 days of temptation, no miracles, merely a yes to the voice of God. A yes to be intimate with the Father.
At this thought my heart rejoices. Yet I know there must be more, something for me. Then He shows me Song of Solomon 1:15:
"Behold, you are beautiful my love; behold, you are beautiful, your eyes are doves.”The maiden has done nothing to deserve such adoration. She isn’t famous or wealthy. In fact, she is well acquainted with her lack (Songs 1:5), but her heart is His (Songs 1:2), and that is what He finds beautiful.
I need to meditate longer on this truth. I want it to become like the air that I breathe, second nature. I need to really get it, to have it permeate my being. I long to understand the reality that I am His because of my faint yes. It is the barely audible yes, in the midst of the circumstances that make me valuable.
Oh sweet Jesus, keep showing me that in You I am valuable, so valuable that You left heaven for me, that You endured the cross for me, that You descended into hell for me. And You would do it again, that is really the measure of my value.